First I gotta tell ya dat if you get one question fo' ask Auntie, go email 'em to AuntieGabbz@aol.com.   (Oh yeah, get small print too:  Da advice Auntie Gabbz give you folks is meant for entertainment only.  If you actually follow da advice and get hurt or die, no come suing Auntie!  Dat jus' going make her all habut!)
 
 

Dear Auntie Gabbz,

I like da strip clubs... but I always wonder... what if I stay sitting by
da stage an I see one girl I know?  What I should do??

Should I say "Hey!  Howzit!!  I 'memba you from _____!!!"
Or should I pretend I nevah know her...  But den maybe she tink I making
stink??

Ay!!!  So difficult dis kine...  Please Auntie Gabbz, help me so I no need
worry!

-- Girlcrazy
 
 

Deah Girlcrazy,

Jus' give her one wink an' plenny money!  {Especially if da chic iz Auntie!  ;)}

Hugz,

Auntie Gabbz

Dear Auntie,We used to live Hawaii, but no more.  We're going vacation there this fall, and I think my husband going look up this cute chick we knew when she was da kine small kid.  Now she's a fancy publishing wahine with her own website.  I think he's going like her more than he does me!  What can I do to keep my man from this shameless hussy?Worried Wahine in Washington
 
 

Deah Worried,

No worry, beef curry!  If da chic get one good head on her shoulders, she not goin' go for him if she know he stay married!  An' if she does go for him, jus' go crack her head!

Hugz,

Auntie Gabbz

Hey Auntie,

What for you give us busted-like link to write to you?  If you no smart like
me, you not know how to fix, Auntie not get letter, and that make for pissed
Auntie!

So like fix it, and we write and write and write and make a happy Auntie!
And we want a happy Auntie cuz we loves Auntie!

(Yeah, a haole sounding like Auntie...get over it, eh!)

Smart-Like-Dat
 
 

Deah Smart-Like Dat,

Firs' of all, how come you stay da only one wen have problems?  Sheesh!  No go blame Auntie when you da one dunno how fo' work da computah!  Auntie stay guessing you stay sum kine engineer or sumtin' like dat.  Gotta be cuz dose folks get brains, but no mo' common sense.

Hugsz,

Auntie Gabbz

eh Auntie,

i like dis chick, but she get boyfriend li'dat.  i guess my timing stay all
off.  so what i gotta do?
 

Deah Bad Timing,

Go kill da boyfriend!  But no tell Auntie wen tell you fo' do dat!  Auntie no like go jail!

Hugz,

Auntie Gabbz

Dear Auntie,

What's your take on online dating?

Cyber-guy
 
 

Deah Cyber-guy,

I don't have a take.  I leave it!  Been dea, done dat, all pau!

Hugz,

Auntie Gabbz
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Archives

July 2004