Howzit everone! Uncles and Aunties, Moms and Dads, Bruddahs and Sistahs, Cousins, HOWZIT!
Welcome to da one and da only page for advice from yers truly, Auntie Gabbz!
First I gotta tell ya dat
if you get one question fo' ask Auntie, go email 'em to AuntieGabbz@aol.com.
(Oh yeah, get small print too: Da
advice Auntie Gabbz give you folks is meant for entertainment only.
If you actually follow da advice and get hurt or die, no come suing Auntie!
Dat jus' going make her all habut!)
August 11, 2004
Dear Auntie Gabbz,
I like da strip clubs... but I always wonder...
what if I stay sitting by
da stage an I see one girl I know?
What I should do??
Should I say "Hey! Howzit!! I
'memba you from _____!!!"
Or should I pretend I nevah know her...
But den maybe she tink I making
stink??
Ay!!! So difficult dis kine...
Please Auntie Gabbz, help me so I no need
worry!
-- Girlcrazy
Deah Girlcrazy,
Jus' give her one wink an' plenny money! {Especially if da chic iz Auntie! ;)}
Hugz,
Auntie Gabbz
Dear Auntie,We used to live
Hawaii, but no more. We're going vacation there this fall, and I
think my husband going look up this cute chick we knew when she was da
kine small kid. Now she's a fancy publishing wahine with her own
website. I think he's going like her more than he does me!
What can I do to keep my man from this shameless hussy?Worried Wahine in
Washington
Deah Worried,
No worry, beef curry! If da chic get one good head on her shoulders, she not goin' go for him if she know he stay married! An' if she does go for him, jus' go crack her head!
Hugz,
Auntie Gabbz
August 14, 2004
Hey Auntie,
What for you give us busted-like link to
write to you? If you no smart like
me, you not know how to fix, Auntie not
get letter, and that make for pissed
Auntie!
So like fix it, and we write and write and
write and make a happy Auntie!
And we want a happy Auntie cuz we loves
Auntie!
(Yeah, a haole sounding like Auntie...get over it, eh!)
Smart-Like-Dat
Deah Smart-Like Dat,
Firs' of all, how come you stay da only one wen have problems? Sheesh! No go blame Auntie when you da one dunno how fo' work da computah! Auntie stay guessing you stay sum kine engineer or sumtin' like dat. Gotta be cuz dose folks get brains, but no mo' common sense.
Hugsz,
Auntie Gabbz
August 24, 2004
eh Auntie,
i like dis chick, but she get boyfriend li'dat.
i guess my timing stay all
off. so what i gotta do?
Deah Bad Timing,
Go kill da boyfriend! But no tell Auntie wen tell you fo' do dat! Auntie no like go jail!
Hugz,
Auntie Gabbz
August 25, 2004
Dear Auntie,
What's your take on online dating?
Cyber-guy
Deah Cyber-guy,
I don't have a take. I leave it! Been dea, done dat, all pau!
Hugz,
Auntie Gabbz
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