July 18, 2004

Dear Auntie Gabbz,
 
I love to write, but I have a fear of submitting my work to a publication.  You see, I have a hatred of rejection in any form.  I hate it, hate it, hate it!  How can I grow as a writer unless I submit my work?  More importantly, how can I grow as a writer while dealing with rejection slips?
 
A Writing Wussy in Tennessee

 

Deah Wussy,

Cheez Louize!  Do like Auntie!  Make yo' own page on da 'net and den go post yo'self ovah dea!  Garanz bahbaranz you goin' get publish den, li'dat!  I guarantee you dat!

Kisses,

Auntie Gabbz

July 19, 2004

Robin writes:

How do I repay my daughter?

 

Deah Robin,

Hard fo' say cuz Auntie dunno what yo' daughtah wen' do.  Wuz sumtin' nice or wuz sumtin' mean?

If wuz sumtin' nice, no worry, beef curry!  She yo' daughtah!  You wen' raise her, and now she jus' repaying you fo' all da care you wen give her.

But if she wen' do sumtin' mean, go kick her okole!  You wen' give her da bestest years of yo' life!  If she stay dissin' you aftah all dat, den she no deserve nuttin' else frum you but one swift kick in da okole!

Kisses,

Auntie Gabbz

July 22, 2004

Mr. Organize wen' write:

Dear Aunti,

How come you no can write mo offen? Keyboard broke or what?

Deah Mistah Organize,

Firs' of all, lemme tell you one ting.  My name spelled Auntie wit' one "e" at da end!  No foget nex' time!

An' why I no' write mo' offen?  Write like how?  I only wen' jus' staht dis site!  I only wen' get tree questions, and dats including yours one!

An' I write plenny!  I write every dang day!  I jus' no like da whole world fo' see.

Unless you mean why I no write to you.  And dat's prolly cuz Auntie dunno who you is!  Mebbe you get me mistake fo' someone else.  Plenny people tell me I look like dis one odda chick who live in Hawaii.  Mebbe you tinkin' of her.

Kisses,

Auntie Gabbz